Hi. I have been meaning to write this one for a very long time now. I have had it all typed out on my phone for months ago. In fact, I wanted to publish this on my birthday. But big changes happened in my life this year (like, an honest attempt at getting my life together) and, more importantly, I'm just plain lazy.
Also, a disclaimer: there is probably nothing in this post that someone hasn't written already or that you might have not read somewhere before. But these are my life-lessons based on my journey. Bear with me.
Here are, in no particular order, the important lessons I've learned in my life so far, that I want to stick to in 2018, in place of New Year resolutions that will not last. #NewYearNewMe
1.) Learn To Pick Your Battles - I will never understand how people find the energy or motivation to express their precious opinions on everything under the Sun. IMO, sometimes shutting up and nt responding is the best option.
2.) Give People Space - You know how sometimes you just want to get up and leave and never come back? Yeah, other people also feel the same. So, learn to give people space. Even if the person is your best friend or your spouse. Don't bombard them with a thousand questions. Maybe they would enjoy a moment of peace.
3.) But Also Reach Out - Point no. 2 being said, it also helps to notice prominent behavioral changes in the people you care about. If they seem unlike them, do reach out. You never know, it might just be silent cry for help.
4.) Understand Your Body - Eating masala chana gives you acidity? Corn gives you gas? Then don't eat those things. Your body keeps giving you signals all the time. Read those signals correctly and do something about them.
5.) What Works For Someone Else Might Not Necessarily Work For You - This goes for everything: relationships, fitness, fashion, work, etc. etc. Don't get your hair coloured pink just because it looked good on Naina and you liked it. Find out what works for you. Maybe purple is your colour.
6.) Lowered Expectations - As clichéd as it may sound, our disappointments are, more often than not, a result of our very very high expectations. Less expectations = less disappointments.
7.) It Is Okay To Have Negative Thoughts - As long as you don't let them consume your entire being, a handful of negative thoughts, a pinch of nihilism and a dash of existential crisis only prove that you are a normal, functioning human being. Also, nobody likes people who are bright, chirpy and positive all the time.
8.) Express Your Feelings - Because people will not know unless you tell them.
9.) Be Comfortable With Yourself - Go watch a movie alone, get a table for one at a restaurant, shop in peace. You shouldn't need company to do all these things. Make yourself a little less dependent on other people.
10. Distance Yourself From People Who Are Not Making You Happy - As simple as that.
11.) Learn To Cook - Its therapeutic, its healthy, its cheaper than eating outside or ordering in every single day, and it is a basic life skill.
12.) Learn To Say "No" Without Feeling Guilty - I have a problem. I cannot say "no" when someone asks me for help. What happens is I end up going out of my way to help people whom I don't even like and then when those people don't need me anymore and stop caring about my existence until the next time they need me, I end up hating myself. This is something that I am working on now.
13.) Invest In A Good Pair Of Earphones - It will change the way you exist.
14.) Read!!! - Make time for it. No excuses. As much as you can, whenever you can.
15.) You Are A Lot Like Your Parents (More Than You Realize And/Or Would Like To Be) - Not just you face, but what you are in general. How you deal with this piece of information is up to you. Which brings us to...
16.) Take Care Of Your Parents - They're getting older. Make them your priority, just like you have always been theirs. Make sure they are getting regular medical check-ups, eating on time, taking their medicines on time.
17.) What's In Your Arsenal? - This is especially for girls, simply because I cannot speak for boys...but make your handbag/backpack a survival kit. No kidding. Things you should carry to face any kind of emergency include, but are not limited to, sanitary napkins/tampons, safety pins, extra hair-ties, a snack, a powerbank...
18.) People Change - Haven't you over all these years? Its called growing up. Learn to deal with it.
19.) Money Is Very Important - But it is not everything. Save. Plan. Invest. But don't let it run your life.
20.) It Is Okay To Cry - Real men cry!!!!!!
21.) Guilt-Free Happiness - Here's the thing I've learned. People will find a way to make you feel guilty about enjoying anything that makes you genuinely happy. The trick is to not let them affect you. Your happiness must be your top priority.
22.) Don't "Settle" - You don't have to get married at 25 just because your best friend did. Or have a career goal at 30. Life is not a race. Do things when you are comfortable doing them. Make your own milestones.
23.) Everyone Is Struggling - A little sympathy and compassion won't hurt. Don't yell at your Uber driver because he got there in 15 minutes when your app showed 10. And let your bai have a weekly off. She has a family too.
24.) Dance - Even if people are watching. Even if you suck at it. It really helps.
25.) Age Doesn't Guarantee Respect - Respect people who respect you. Period.
26.) The Labels People Give You Do Not Matter - Fat, rude, jobless, whiner....No! You define yourself.
27.) Music - It's important to block out all the unnecessary noise.
28.) Your Circle - Although I am strictly against setting milestones, by your mid-20s you should be able to tell which people you can trust, who will be there for you when you need them, and remove all the unimportant ones.
29.) Family Is Important - You may not always get along, but your immediate family (not relatives and extended family, mind you) is very important. Unconditional love comes from them. They'll be the people bailing you out of trouble when everyone else has abandoned you! <insert Karan Johar's dialouge>
This is obviously not an exhaustive list. You learn new lessons everyday. The bottomline is that you should do what makes you happy. And try not to hurt a lot of people in that process.
Also, a disclaimer: there is probably nothing in this post that someone hasn't written already or that you might have not read somewhere before. But these are my life-lessons based on my journey. Bear with me.
Here are, in no particular order, the important lessons I've learned in my life so far, that I want to stick to in 2018, in place of New Year resolutions that will not last. #NewYearNewMe
1.) Learn To Pick Your Battles - I will never understand how people find the energy or motivation to express their precious opinions on everything under the Sun. IMO, sometimes shutting up and nt responding is the best option.
2.) Give People Space - You know how sometimes you just want to get up and leave and never come back? Yeah, other people also feel the same. So, learn to give people space. Even if the person is your best friend or your spouse. Don't bombard them with a thousand questions. Maybe they would enjoy a moment of peace.
3.) But Also Reach Out - Point no. 2 being said, it also helps to notice prominent behavioral changes in the people you care about. If they seem unlike them, do reach out. You never know, it might just be silent cry for help.
4.) Understand Your Body - Eating masala chana gives you acidity? Corn gives you gas? Then don't eat those things. Your body keeps giving you signals all the time. Read those signals correctly and do something about them.
5.) What Works For Someone Else Might Not Necessarily Work For You - This goes for everything: relationships, fitness, fashion, work, etc. etc. Don't get your hair coloured pink just because it looked good on Naina and you liked it. Find out what works for you. Maybe purple is your colour.
6.) Lowered Expectations - As clichéd as it may sound, our disappointments are, more often than not, a result of our very very high expectations. Less expectations = less disappointments.
7.) It Is Okay To Have Negative Thoughts - As long as you don't let them consume your entire being, a handful of negative thoughts, a pinch of nihilism and a dash of existential crisis only prove that you are a normal, functioning human being. Also, nobody likes people who are bright, chirpy and positive all the time.
8.) Express Your Feelings - Because people will not know unless you tell them.
9.) Be Comfortable With Yourself - Go watch a movie alone, get a table for one at a restaurant, shop in peace. You shouldn't need company to do all these things. Make yourself a little less dependent on other people.
10. Distance Yourself From People Who Are Not Making You Happy - As simple as that.
11.) Learn To Cook - Its therapeutic, its healthy, its cheaper than eating outside or ordering in every single day, and it is a basic life skill.
12.) Learn To Say "No" Without Feeling Guilty - I have a problem. I cannot say "no" when someone asks me for help. What happens is I end up going out of my way to help people whom I don't even like and then when those people don't need me anymore and stop caring about my existence until the next time they need me, I end up hating myself. This is something that I am working on now.
13.) Invest In A Good Pair Of Earphones - It will change the way you exist.
14.) Read!!! - Make time for it. No excuses. As much as you can, whenever you can.
15.) You Are A Lot Like Your Parents (More Than You Realize And/Or Would Like To Be) - Not just you face, but what you are in general. How you deal with this piece of information is up to you. Which brings us to...
16.) Take Care Of Your Parents - They're getting older. Make them your priority, just like you have always been theirs. Make sure they are getting regular medical check-ups, eating on time, taking their medicines on time.
17.) What's In Your Arsenal? - This is especially for girls, simply because I cannot speak for boys...but make your handbag/backpack a survival kit. No kidding. Things you should carry to face any kind of emergency include, but are not limited to, sanitary napkins/tampons, safety pins, extra hair-ties, a snack, a powerbank...
18.) People Change - Haven't you over all these years? Its called growing up. Learn to deal with it.
19.) Money Is Very Important - But it is not everything. Save. Plan. Invest. But don't let it run your life.
20.) It Is Okay To Cry - Real men cry!!!!!!
21.) Guilt-Free Happiness - Here's the thing I've learned. People will find a way to make you feel guilty about enjoying anything that makes you genuinely happy. The trick is to not let them affect you. Your happiness must be your top priority.
22.) Don't "Settle" - You don't have to get married at 25 just because your best friend did. Or have a career goal at 30. Life is not a race. Do things when you are comfortable doing them. Make your own milestones.
23.) Everyone Is Struggling - A little sympathy and compassion won't hurt. Don't yell at your Uber driver because he got there in 15 minutes when your app showed 10. And let your bai have a weekly off. She has a family too.
24.) Dance - Even if people are watching. Even if you suck at it. It really helps.
25.) Age Doesn't Guarantee Respect - Respect people who respect you. Period.
26.) The Labels People Give You Do Not Matter - Fat, rude, jobless, whiner....No! You define yourself.
27.) Music - It's important to block out all the unnecessary noise.
28.) Your Circle - Although I am strictly against setting milestones, by your mid-20s you should be able to tell which people you can trust, who will be there for you when you need them, and remove all the unimportant ones.
29.) Family Is Important - You may not always get along, but your immediate family (not relatives and extended family, mind you) is very important. Unconditional love comes from them. They'll be the people bailing you out of trouble when everyone else has abandoned you! <insert Karan Johar's dialouge>
This is obviously not an exhaustive list. You learn new lessons everyday. The bottomline is that you should do what makes you happy. And try not to hurt a lot of people in that process.
Classic case of quarter life crisis that we all are facing everyday . Reading the article made me realise that all of us , we motivate ourselves in a similar way and all of us are trying to survive the best way possible . It was like I am reading my own thoughts or making my own to do list for 2018 , thanks for the article though needed something like this to put myself together for the struggles in 2018 . Great read .
ReplyDelete< Tumhare paas Jo hai vo tumhare hisaab se Kam hai lekin kisi dusre ki Nazar se dekho to tumhare pass bohot kuch hai > from Kal ho Na ho the only kjo movie I liked. Happy New Year .